So I was checking old photo albums, looking for pictures I could use for my mom’s birthday present.
I ended with some more ideas for drawings and thoughts about parenthood, childhood, memories.
I’ve always imagined that a person is adult, when they stop thinking what mother would say about them. For some time now my attitude towards my parents has changed a lot.
I used to have many claims about their behaviour, for a long time I was hurt, remembering what they did wrong. After years of thoughts and work, forgiveness day has come. They didn’t ask for it, it just happened. Not in words, just in my mind, but I felt really relieved.
I’ve learned to see them not as my guardians, but as people that in my age had 3 children. When I stopped awaitening parenting care from them, I finally felt like an adult person.
When you separate all this expectations of a child, it leaves just two people, who did mistakes and had their bad sides. Like I do and like I have.
As an adult I gave my inner child what it needed. So it left me with a peace.
I’m fascinated with them. I don’t know how does it feel to live in pretty town. In little scandinavian cottages, in cool italian old buildings with a garden on the roof, in charming parisian tenement house where you walk through fancy gates. What it is like to drink espresso every mornig before your work, walking down the spanish streets, everyday in the same caffeteria, where you know the owner.
How do people function in high apartaments of Geneve, inherited after their grandmothers.
Easily I can tell that for me it’s like living on Mars.
I wonder what will happen with all those monstrous settlements that are big parts of each town and city of Poland. How they will look in 50 years, when now nobody wants to buy a flat that is in a building like that.
This was my childhood, form of coexisting with other people. Hearing their voices every day, smelling what they have for dinner, knowing who’s crying, who has little baby, who’s having a birthday party. Watching the same tv programs they watch. Being a part of a collective sorrow that never leaves this kind of places.
Recently I’ve made lots of sketches. Most of them are just crayon, markers and piece of paper.
I’m very busy and tired, so I draw in bus, with my morning coffee or evening glass of wine. Actually I’m planning some bigger projects, but right now I think I just have to search my own way of drawing.
Meanwhile, in between work and wanting to keep in touch with friends and family, I try not to get depressed looking at works of some great illustrators and comic book artists!
I mean- this is the biggest kick to improve myself.
Right now I have lots of sketches after vacations, but recently I’ve made my mind on two bigger projects. One is a comic, the other is a kind of drawing series. We’ll see if I’ll manage to focus on them.
Sorry my friends and family that I’m unavailable all the time 😉
So during my vacations I’ve made lots of sketches. I’ve been camping, saw seaside and walked by the lakes.
I had it all.
These are some sketches that I do on leftovers of paper. Different forms and small sizes are great for quick drawing/ painting.
Actually those are self-portraits. I watched last night “Seven” again, so in the morning I thought of making a saint of me. A very tired saint.
For a week I’m home alone with cats, with plenty of work to do, summer outside the window, thinking only how not to get out of the bed.